Finishing Golden Boys
or, The Making of a Male Geisha
 
  n occasional coupling in our society is that between a good-looking young man and an older, richer man. We'll call them, respectively, the "Golden Boy" and the "Gentleman". The Gentleman sets the agenda and pays the bills, while the Golden Boy provides attractive companionship and other pleasant services.

The only problem I see here is that power in this relationship is so heavily weighted toward the Gentleman. Not only is he richer and better-connected, he has an enormous advantage in knowledge, experience, and what the French call "savoir-faire". I propose that we redress this imbalance by giving lots of Golden Boys a "finishing school" education. This education will enable Golden Boys to bring as much, or more, savoir-faire to a relationship as their Gentlemen friends. No longer will the younger man be crude and awkward. His tastes will be broadened- for example, if he chooses to play Madonna rather than Mozart on the CD, he will be able to articulate just why Madonna is the more felicitous choice for the occasion.

I propose that the first finishing school be established near Boston, a New England city with a long tradition of excellence in higher education. The school will be called the Augustan Academy, in honor of a promising 18-year-old youth named Octavian who was "adopted" by Julius Caesar. Octavian- later known as Augustus Caesar- is an ideal exemplar of a Golden Boy, in that he showed that loyal service to a patron can result in a fulfilling life and a nice inheritance.

The Augustan Academy will admit boys between 18 and 20 who show promise for careers as Golden Boys because they (1) are gay or bisexual, (2) enjoy the company of older men, and (3) are inclined more to the domestic arts than to business or the professions. The Academy would provide these boys with two- or three-year courses of study, covering these subjects:

Conversational French
Conversational Italian
Elegant spoken and written English
Music appreciation
Art/design/architecture appreciation
Introduction to world geography and culture
Investment management
Household management
Gourmet cooking
Hosting of dinner parties and cocktail parties

There would, of course, be significant opportunities for physical education and sports, principally:

Aerobics Skiing
Bodybuilding Horsemanship
Gymnastics Sailing
Swimming Ballroom Dancing

In the last two weeks of the students' final Spring semester, they would be treated to a "Graduation Cruise" to the Bahamas. This cruise would feature a variety of informal and formal meals, cocktail receptions, dances, and other events at which newly-developed social skills could be manifested.

The Augustan Academy would be funded partly through tuition paid by the students' families, but mostly by scholarships provided by interested Gentlemen. These scholarships would enable especially promising, but indigent, students to complete their studies. In return for their generosity, the Gentlemen donors would be invited to join in the Graduation Cruise.

Gentlemen, too, will gain from their involvement with the Augustan Academy. They will be reminded that learning is a lifelong process; that original thought often emerges from quite young minds; that great art and music is created by each new generation; that keeping oneself healthy and fit is much appreciated by boyfriends; and that love between generations can be enduring and profounding enriching.

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©2004–2010 by John Newmeyer